Outdoorsy

Men and women are just not the same. Apart from the difference on what’s between their legs, numerous other things differentiate men and women. I guess I need not explain the anatomical make up of these two species, which seemingly has nothing in common yet most of them end up being with each other. What sets them apart from each other, structurally speaking of course, is obvious after all.

Some articles were written as well to talk about the differences in men and women’s characteristics. These commentaries, in my opinion, tend to bridge the gap between them thereby intending to make their lives easier in terms of understanding each other’s quirky and distinct personality. Still, what were written seemed not enough to make one understand the other. More often, these two end up in various fights, simply because they misunderstood each other.

Being a member of the female specie, here are but some of the many things I just don’t get about men.

I could not understand why men find it difficult to comprehend hints when the signs being given them are pretty obvious. Most of the time, they needed to be told exactly what you want to tell them or they would miss your point. It would be rather unfair to men if I take this case as an instance of intellectual incompatibility, with women having higher intellect than men do of course. It would also be hasty to think that men have slower comprehension. Probably, this is but a circumstance of low emotional quotient. Needless to say, men are apathetic.

I also could not figure out why men tend to forget important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries. If their partners are as important as they claim them to be, how come they seem to overlook dates of great significance? There are men whom I personally know who needed to reminded what a particular day it was just so they could remember. I am not so sure whether men are prone to amnesia or they just have problems retaining certain memories.

There many men as well who find it hard to say exactly what they feel about a particular person or situation, which I could not figure out. These men make talking out loud seemed so laborious. From saying what they truly feel about a person to telling what they think of a certain situation they find themselves in, they definitely rate as F…as in failure. The world would have been a better place if these men speak their minds. Adjustments would have been made and amicable settlements would have been negotiated if there is awareness of what is running in these men’s minds. They create a magnitude of barrier that hampers the success of any communication process.

To wrap up my list, I could not comprehend why most men are polygamous. Most of them seem to find so much pleasure in having hundreds of women wrapped around their arms. In my point of view, nothing about having so many girls is rewarding. Economically speaking, having numerous women to maintain is impractical. Men have to shell out considerably generous amounts just to finance dates or gifts given that they have many girls in tow. Being with a number of women at the same time is emotionally and physically taxing as well. Men need to be at particular place at a particular time and be at another in less than a flash. These men have to deal with the different personalities that their girls have, which is emotionally draining. It must be the “macho” mentality that these men do what they do yet to me, they end up proving themselves as nothing but egotistic.

I am no man hater. I am simply airing out the things that makes men so incomprehensible. However bad I might have portrayed them to be, there are also numerous things that make them so endearing. But of course, that is another article.

I just finished reading Paulo Coehlo’s Veronika Decides To Die. For so long, I have been dying to read this book that talks about a young beautiful woman who attempted suicide though she seems to have almost everything she wants but I just could not get hold of it. You see, every time I get so agitated to buy myself a copy of the book, something always comes up. It is either Weng and I splurged both our salaries on clothes and food or we have too many obligations to pay that buying the book becomes the least priority. For some time, I was contented with dropping by National Bookstore to look at the book being displayed along with the other books Coehlo had written.

Anyway, it must have been my fate to read Veronika Decides To Die that on the day I least expected, someone lend me the book saying that I should read it because its good. Expectedly, I got all so excited about reading it that I was scanning through its pages even while I was in my Fiscal Administration class. Coehlo did not disappoint me. His words were simple yet he was taking to Slovenia, right where Veronika was.

Veronika’s story is not extraordinary. She simply exemplifies all others, who get so tired about their cyclical (read boring) lives consequently leading them to think that living is but a waste of time. Yeah, I was her (except that she appears to be prettier and she had more boyfriends). However, the circumstances that led me to realize that living is actually a gift came in different form.

At a point in my life, I actually thought of committing suicide (go psycho!). Everything was going on a downhill for me. Nothing made sense that the most reasonable thing to do was end my life.

In committing suicide, however, I did not want to slash my wrist or jump from a building (Veronika and I had the same dilemma). Eeeewwww! I could not watch the blood gush out from my wrist nor do I want people visiting my wake to think of how unpretty I look inside my coffin (jumping would make look so ugly). The only choice left was drink poison (Veronika chose to drink loads of sleeping pills) yet I was also hesitant doing it dreading that I may not like the taste. Expectedly, I was not able to pursue my plans though the drive to commit suicide was still there.

Days went by. There were changes with how things were going for me. I began a new relationship; I was starting a promising work that gradually I found hope that better things are yet to come. Just as everything was going well, I was diagnosed to have tumor that was growing in my pelvic area. Right! I was devastated of course. The doctor told me it could be the big C and that we could only hope for the best.

I literally broke down when I went home after seeing my doctor. I was inconsolable. Not even the encouraging words my parents were telling me made me feel better and secure that everything is going to be okay. At the time when dying is a possibility, I realized I was not ready to give up all the happiness, fun and excitement plus the hardships, misery and boredom that comes with living.

It has been a year since the operation. It turned out that the tumor was non-cancerous, much to my relief. There are still times when I think of committing suicide yet I have conceded that it should never be option; its just not worth it. I have settled with crying and whining just to take out all my frustrations. They may not eliminate the problem entirely but doing those things take out some of the load I was carrying.

Just like Veronika, I continue to live each day. It's just a matter of attitude.

The ground floor of the office was jam-packed. There was an ocean of faces most, of which I have seen for the first time. Most of the people were standing since the limited space could only offer limited number of seats yet everyone was clearly anticipating for the afternoon’s affair to start. As I went pass through the pensioners, there were some that greeted and waved at me. I was trying to recall from where have I met the enthusiastic faces that welcomed me. However hard I tried plus the fact that I meet so many people at work every single day, I could no longer remember our first meeting. Being the “polite person” that I am (Isko would rather call me pulitiko than polite), I waved backed at them and greeted them with my nicest hello.

After exerting effort just to get through the crowd, I was finally standing in front of close to 200 individuals. It was not the biggest crowd I have hosted for. In fact, it was one of the smallest. If I hold on to my previous experiences, entertaining those people would have been a piece of cake but it was the first time for me to be doing a stint with mostly old people in my audience. I was truly nervous. I did not know what to expect making it impossible for me to prepare contingency plans. Just before I started, I prayed that my wit and charm (yeah, I have that at times) would be enough to get me through the entire program.

With the usual lines, I welcomed everyone to the annual celebration of the Pensioners’ Day. I must admit that they all looked so relieved the moment I spoke since it suggested that the activity was finally starting. After my bosses gave their welcome remarks, the games then started that also commenced the unending laughter that highlighted our day.

Everything that happened during the entire celebration was totally unexpected. The “oldies” were surprisingly attentive and were participating in all the activities that we have prepared for them. Some volunteered to do song numbers while another displayed his talent in playing the harmonica. The game show-like program we have initially arranged eventually turned out to be a variety show.

If the smiles and the laughter we shared that afternoon were enough bases to judge the success of our activity, then we have accomplished. More than what our bosses would say about the event, the momentary happiness we have imparted to the pensioners was more than enough compensation for the hard work and the effort we have exerted.

I have to acknowledge that being with the pensioners gave me so many realizations. They proved me that aging gracefully is a possibility; they made me realize that age is merely numbers. The fun they contributed to the program made me recognize that a person’s zest to live life fully does not dwindle even as they get older. Yeah, the “oldies” are no tight asses really. Most of the time, they may be just facing so many challenges that they may seem inflexible.

I never had so much enjoyment in all my hosting stint other than that afternoon. Honestly, the excitement of spending time with the child in each of them simply waiting to come out to play and have fun was incomparable.

I had a difficult time sleeping last night. No matter how hard I closed my eyes, my mind seemed not ready to rest. The work that I left at the office, the readings my professors asked us to study, the plans that I want to pursue right away, and the little problems that I have kept bothering me. It was one of those days.

On times like last night, I wish I could just rise above all my concerns. I wish I could just drift into a good night sleep and visit dream land. However, on times like last night, not all these wishes come true even if I keep crossing my fingers.

Overly rationalizing things may not be so healthy after all.

My Beb and I had dinner last Sunday. As usual, we decided to splurge just as our resources are running out. But heck! We do not actually care. I am not so sure whether we do it because we love the thrill of being dirt poor for days or simply because we love to spend time with each other that money never really matters.

Anyway, we went to this not-so-expensive yet not-so-cheap “Ihaw-ihaw”, where they serve the best free soup (probably the best in Davao City). Yeah, the barbecued chicken and Sinuglaw (Sinugba ug Kinilaw) is just as good as well.

Just as we were waiting for our food, we started talking about my friend (whom my boyfriend also knows) whose life is taking a topsy-turvy these days. Last year (I think) she had her first boyfriend who (my other friends said) promised to give her “the moon and the stars” (tsk, girls can truly be caught up with utopian promises). They got so intimate with each other that one day she found out she was pregnant. Naturally, her family got so disappointed in her. But instead of asking for forgiveness, she eloped with her man who took her to a very inconvenient life.

From what our common friend told me (this common friend visited her at her boyfriend’s house), the barong-barong that her boyfriend took her to shelters two other families. The area has poor sanitation and is clearly not very healthy especially for pregnant women like her.

To make things worse, her boyfriend cum live in partner has another woman. Bastard!

The fu*kn bastard could not even provide a relatively good life for my friend and yet he has the guts to take another woman in his arms (I could not believe how other men could be so pigs!). To top all the hardships that my friend was already experiencing, the baby she carried in her womb for nine months died during birth.

Our common friend told me that this friend of ours is already suicidal. The death of her kid and of the relationship she had with her bastard boyfriend was too much for her to handle.

Recently, this friend went missing and no one knows for sure where in the world is she. Well, we could only hope that she is fine. We could only hope that she could still see the other (and definitely a lot better) side of her entire situation. With the end of her relationship and the death of her child, she could start anew. She could start looking for a job to support herself. She could go back to her family and ask for their forgiveness. She could use all her pain as motivation for her to achieve greater feats. She could, if only she would.

After all, life is a matter of choices.